How I Learned How to Forgive

So lately I’ve been mediating on the big “F” known as “Forgiveness…”

God says that we must be quick to forgive everyone if we expect Him to do the same for us. Forgiveness is the greatest expression of love (in my opinion). God could have destroyed us. Yet, He forgave us because He loved us. He sent His Son, Jesus as the ultimate form of sacrifice. While Jesus hung on the cross, He asked His Father to forgive His enemies. I don’t know anyone in the world other than Jesus that will die for an enemy. It’s just strange! That type of love can’t even be explained.

If Jesus can forgive frienemies then we CAN forgive anyone! Some of the folks that He healed turned His back on Him and wanted Him to be crucified. Even Judas, His close friend and disciple betrayed Him for money and kissed Him on the cheek like all was well! Knowing how imperfect I am… I would’ve knocked Judah’s butt to the ground. SMH! But not Jesus. He’s perfect! He’s our greatest example. He let Judah and everyone else go on with their evil plans so that Jesus can complete His good plans. So If Jesus can forgive his enemies then, we “born-again believers” NEED to do the same. Forgive everyone even if this includes forgiving yourself… It’s possible only with God.

When we forgive we must forget. It’s not true forgiveness if you keep dwelling on the past and bringing it back up against that person. How would we feel if Jesus stood before God at Judgment Day testifying against us? No, He finished our sins once and for all. God “The Father” will never bring them up again. He casts them far away. We don’t have to fear His judgment. We can come boldly into his presence because Jesus is our mediator. Satan cannot stand in God’s court trying to accuse us. Thanks to Jesus for providing forgiveness of our sins through His shed blood. *HALLELUJAH!*

God went the extra mile for us when He gave us the NEW covenant of Grace: JESUS! So, we ought to forgive quickly… 

I used to “kind of” understand forgiveness. But I didn’t quite have it all down packed. I would convince myself that I forgave someone. Although, I would never forget the damage that they did. This is not true forgiveness. You know that you really forgave someone when you can have peace when you think of them and not get upset. So Let It God! Don’t keep thinking about the ROUGH OLD UGLY PAST! If we kept confessing the SAME sins to God, we would “tick Him off.” He doesn’t even remember them. In my marriage, when we have arguments aka “disagreements” we aren’t suppose to keep bringing up our mistakes. If we do, the relationship will indeed cause confusion. I’ve learned to just let things go and give it to God. 

I rather have His peace than the devil’s chaos!

Another thing that I learned in this forgiveness thing… is that we don’t always have to become friends again after forgiving them. Yes, some friendships and relationships are worth fighting for. But most aren’t. Especially in my case. I don’t want to be friends with my ex in real life or social media. We were never good friends from the beginning. We were unequally yoked so nothing ever worked out. Maybe, you need to fix some broken relationships but be careful who you let back into your life. Everyone isn’t meant to be in your future. In the bible, we didn’t see Jesus begging Judas to change his ways and be his friend. Nah, He let him go and make his own choices. Judas chose to be friends of the world. As a result, he lost Jesus’ friendship. I use to chase people down so that they could be my friend. When I got saved I went out of my way to force people to stay my friend when God said that the seasonal friendship was up! I ended up getting hurt a whole lot worse. And my heart became hardened to the point where forgiveness wasn’t easy. It’s important to just obey God.

Forgive people and let some folks GO!!! A tip that I learned is to: pray for your enemies. My ex-boyfriend had me bent like fake jewelry LOL. I couldn’t stand him. But most importantly, I hated that he still had power in my life (even years after our ugly break-up(s). When I heard his name or seen him on social media, I would experience the pain that he once gave me all over again. I hated that he had power to turn my joy into sadness. My unforgivness opened up a door for Satan to come in and steal my joy. I was tired of this mess. If I didn’t end this, it would open a door for Satan to come into my marriage. And I wasn’t having it!! I love God and my man of God way too much to ruin our relationships. It was time to take this pain away and truly forgive.

It was time that I begin to pray over my ex-bf. I had to pray how Jesus prays though! Jesus prayed to God and asked Him to forgive His enemies because they didn’t know what they were doing. I wanted to pray over my ex and say “Lord, send this boy to Hell please!” But the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me. I had to pray like a BORN AGAIN BELIEVER BAPTIZED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT! I said something in the lines of: “I forgive this man. I pray that he forgives me too. Blood of Jesus cover him. He is a man after you own heart, committed, respectful, successful, and honest. I command all strongholds of the enemy to be released from him in the Name of Jesus.” I prayed similar prayers a few more times in that season. And guess what? I felt better! A weight was released!! He ended up following me on social media. I only allowed it so that he could see my faith based posts (Because he needs some Jesus in his life). After a short while, I had to block him. I just didn’t see the need to be friends. I hope that he finds Jesus so that he doesn’t burn in Hell (where we all belong). But I just don’t WANT to be friends. I planned a seed. Someone else can water it. It doesn’t have to be ME. Why should you be friends with anyone who did you NO good? Unless you’re married, you aren’t obligated to reconcile relationships. Carry on. 

My prayers worked because I have a relationship with Jesus by faith. He will become a real deal christian one of these days. But he obviously didn’t change after all of these years. He was still with the crap and I was just done praying for Him. Once you pray and seal it with “IN JESUS NAME” then, it goes right up to Heaven if you believe. God heard my prayer and seen my forgiving heart. The devil no longer has any power or influence in my life! I forgave my biggest enemy and I learned what it is to love and pray for people. (Even if you just pray 1 time) I had to pray several times because I disobeyed God and had a lot of bad seeds to uproot so that I could grow.

Today, I was inspired by Jeremiah 11:14 (NLT)“Pray no more for these people, Jeremiah. Do not weep or pray for them, for I will not listen to them when they cry out to me in distress.”

We can’t keep praying for people who just don’t get it. They need Jesus. No one can convict another person other than, the Holy Spirt. Like Judas, they have to make their own decisions to choose Jesus over the world. People of satan’s world don’t understand The WORD of God. Pray for them and move on to the next. Don’t let the devil confuse you. Do the will of God: Love, forgive, pray and move on to the next telling them about the love of God. 

I’ve done my part. His his choice to be a fool or to get to know God. I’m done trying. I forgave and finally obeyed the Lord. All is well with my soul. Thank You, Jesus for being my greatest example in everything. I love You forever!

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